While working on church renovations, I feel that the original 10 commandments are not sufficiently detailed. Some of our brethren are unaware of new customs of behavior. So, like Moses, it is a good time to come down from the mountain and express proper behavior in a work zone and a former house of god. This is my list for everybody no matter what religion.
1. Thou shalt not pee on the church. This is the quickest way to invite lightning from above. You would think this was implied somewhere in the original 10 C's. But, I would not mention it if someone had not come along and peed on the church.
2. Thou shalt genuflect to all contractors upon entering uninvited. It may be confusing to those who do not understand that when a church undergoes renovations, new customs are in order. It is no longer the lord's house, but my house. So, you do not just walk in uninvited.
3. Thou shalt not steal. Some of the original 10 C's were practical and still apply.
4. Adultery is okay. We won't give you a hard time for philandering.
5. Thou shalt not inquire to new rituals. Any future plan for worship is our business. We are not priests and cannot show you the way to heaven.
6. If thou digeth through God's dumpster, thou shalt leave it as tidy as whence we left it.
7. Thou shalt not inquire about work without references. We are not all knowing, and not very trusting.
8. Thou shalt respect thy worker and his work. This means leave him alone.
9. Thou shalt bring Jesus' carpentry up to code. Jesus was a great teacher, and probably an apt carpenter. But times have changed. Jesus never thought about wheelchair access.
10. Thou shalt curse when toes are stubbed, thumbs hammered, and skin abraded.
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